at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
