I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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