he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
