I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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