my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
