dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
