O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
