this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
