i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
