It's Friday. Sex?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
