She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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