He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
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do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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