Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
did i just pee glitter
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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