Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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