ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
