Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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