p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
