I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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