mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
4 words: hood of his car
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
