And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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