I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
