I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
be right there i have to get my cape
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
