You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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