I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I deserve this hangover.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
