we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
