I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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