Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
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at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
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I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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