went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize