I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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