Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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