Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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