I wanna bring you to show and tell
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
