my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
