apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
