I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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