i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
