Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
