She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
