Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
