Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
