How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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