So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
