Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
