Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
