god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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