i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
