I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
