I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I love you. Go after that dick
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