So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
