Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm passing your future prison.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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