break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
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Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
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She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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