Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
