Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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