My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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