in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
