Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
