We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
