Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
