The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
