Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
