whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
