Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
