Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
